Unfortunately, unlike the Sir Mix-a-Lot song's reverential tone, I'm feeling totally gross about falling off the wagon. I have eaten so much Halloween candy, bread, and grilled cheese that I think I could just apply it topically to my second chin and thighs to get an accurate week-later forecast picture of myself.
Worse, I don't want to stop.
To a degree, the cooler weather has been enabling my desire to just curl up on the couch eating a big bowl of spaghetti with a stick of butter in one hand and a Kahlua & cream in the other. And of course "DodgeBall" or "King of the Hill" would be blasting on tv, softening my brain like these extra calories are softening my butt cheeks. To be sure, there are variations on this vignette, it could be something deep-fried or enrobed in melted cheese or drenched in ranch dressing that I'm eating. Or perhaps something chocolatey or caramelly or peanut buttery that I'm shoving in my increasingly corpulent face. Maybe I'm even watching serious tv. Does a "Scrubs" rerun with a sad ending count?
I haven't logged in my Weight Watchers log since September.
5 servings of vegetables? Do potato chips count? How about the herbs in ranch dressing? 6 servings of water? Try coffee with a generous splash of half&half or a cold hefeweizen washing down my potato chips. And exercise? Ugh. I'm dragging myself by my jowls, but at least I've managed to get to the gym at least 3 times a week. Though honestly, I'd have to confess I'm kind of phoning it in. I get on the elliptical, move my legs so the machine isn't standing still, zone out for 20 minutes, and...I'm out.
At work, the picture isn't prettier. Folks at work have sharing their kids' and un-handed-out Halloween candy. (Unlike our stash, which we keep by the tv in a big basket and eat like pretzels at a sports bar.) Do you know how many fistfuls of fun-size candy I've been swiping from the candy bowls on people's desks? It's shameful and pathetic.
I need to straighten out big time. But this is the worst time. Instead of wanting to get fixings for a salad, I want to get candy melts to make more of those decorative candy pops. And then promptly eat them. Like the last batch we made. Or make holiday cookies. Or shovel mashed potatoes or any carb cooked in a pound of butter into my face.
How do I start? Okay, baby steps. Today I vow to drink my 6 servings of water.
Wish me luck.
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2 comments:
Hey, come on, at least it's not like you're eating Bacon Fatty Melts, right? (Because that would be a bad idea.)
Seriously, though, getting to the gym 3 times a week sounds pretty good to me.
i ate a bowl of spaghetti on the couch today... watching the view.
but i love salads. maybe do cobb salad. that has enough stuff on it so that it's not so plain lettuce tomato- y.
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