Iron Man

My old man and I never formalized any freebie lists, where one lists 5 celebrities one would be allowed to cheat with, because we both think the other is perfect. snort. Of course, I'm one to think that if he were to have a freebie list, anyone on it is probably just a glammed up or famous version of me, like Sophia Loren, Grace Kelly, Posh Spice, or Angelina Jolie. Though I believe I gleaned a real one when he expressed how funny "Saving Silverman" and "The Whole Nine Yards" were and then wanted to go see "The Whole Ten Yards". The common denominator is Amanda Peet. I haven't gotten any official confirmation from him, but I get it--she's smart, funny, and easy on the eyes. My ears are burning, darling.

Anyhoo, this might sound pathetic but I think I'm too old for a freebie list. Too many celebs seem so annoyingly immature and self-centered--and that is a total turn-off at my age. Maybe if I was 20 years younger, I could overlook some of those things, but now, forget it. Plus, is it just me or are young males looking a lot more pretty these days? Like precious pretty, like they pay more attention to their hair, facial, and fashion regimen than me. A LOT more. Like if I ran my hand through their hair, they'd shriek, watch the hair! I just got it the way I wanted! Pfft. My eyes would roll so far back they'd be clanking in my skull.

Anyhoo, I just saw Iron Man. Robert Downey, Jr. nailed this movie. I briefly pondered whether RDJ was going to be the inaugural member to my list. Because I also loved him as Kirk Lazurus in Tropic Thunder, especially in the "Satan's Alley" trailer. But I when I think of all the other movies I've seen him in I don't remember wanting to put him on any such list before. In fact, I remember when "Iron Man" was coming out, I was stumped by all the positive buzz for RDJ. I remember him mostly playing smarmy or annoying slicksters in "Two Girls and a Guy", "The Pick Up Artist", "Less than Zero", and "Bowfinger". How could this guy play an action hero? Well, I was pleasantly suprised and impressed--RDJ slams a home run with this character.

And then I realize it's probably RDJ's Tony Stark who I'd want to put on the list. He's witty, charming, athletic, and ridiculously brilliant. Sure he starts out as complete cad, but he goes through a transformative, grounding epiphany, that moves the most jaded viewers. But even as Stark gains some pathos, he doesn't completely lose his rascally, oh-no-he-didn't! charm--RDJ balances this all nicely.

And was I the only one? When Stark was going through all that robot engineering, hammering out the details, did anyone else swoon at such focus and drive? Raahrrr. Egad, I am an old lady.

Sorry if there are any spoilers in the following but given it's been nearly 4 months out and if I'm seeing it at the $2 theater, I doubt I'm saying anything you haven't heard by now. The movie as a whole was very good, I'm giving it a B. I found it disappointing that there basically 2 female speaking roles and both pretty much served as love/s*x interests, though one could argue the female reporter served the extra function of exposing Stark Industries' purposes to Stark and the audience. The Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) "romance" was fairly typical, bordering on banal. Umm, let's see, devoted personal assistant who shows signs of more than professional fidelity gets glamorous at event and, ooh, I wonder if Tony Stark will notice...zzzzzzzzzzzz

Personally my favorite part of these hero movies is the genesis storyline--how they came to be. Whether it's Batman, Catwoman, Superman, whoever--I love the transformation from lost to resolved; the moment where the protagonist chooses to make a difference and guided by some tranformative principle. In "Iron Man", it is Stark's capture by terrorists that awakens his former self from his selfish, vain, apathetic stupor. The time spent in capture befriended by a wizened doctor, Yinsen, is efficiently developed and well-done. You bet I cried when the two are finally making their escape with the Iron suit prototype and Yinsen, with revelatory satisfaction, says he finally is going to see his family.

Overall, the direction is tight, the dialogue snaps (thanks in a large part to RDJ), and the special effects are dynamite (oh yes, pun intended). I wasn't sure if Jeff Bridges could play the bad guy, but what a difference shaving his head and giving him the name Obadiah does.

The question marks for me were about his hero logistics: does Iron Man only do international gigs? How does he know where and when to go? And seriously, did he just zoom over to Afganistan (which, if he's as fast as a plane, would be close to a 20 hour flight from LAX) to kick a$$ in that village? Is he available for domestic crimes like bank robberies and kidnappings? Also the revelations about Obadiah's activities, normally raise a wha??? But since this is a superhero movie, I was able to shrug it off and accept it. These little niggling details in the story line are what kept this movie from being a four star movie in my mind (though RDJ's performance was definitely four gold stars).

And I kept waiting for those opening riffs of Black Sabbath's Iron Man. By the time those familiar guitar chords ripped through, it was over the closing credits. Trust me, I needed that to ring in much earlier.

Again, RDJ rocked "Iron Man". I'm looking forward to the sequel and then we'll see if Tony Stark gets added to the list. Hmm, can you put fictional characters on a freebie list?