A new road

I'd been in a funk since getting back from New York. The combination of leaving my family and friends back east, trying to get back into the work groove, and reading "The Road" was pretty affecting. In the first two days I get back, I learned that my friend in the hospital (for her privacy's sake, I'll say she's had major complications from an infection) had a setback while I was gone and is medically unconscious again. The topper was a close friend of a friend suffered the sudden loss of her ex-husband (who was still one of her closest friends and great father to their young children) due to illness that went suddenly serious. He was only in his 40s. I was crying every other hour at work.

Also in those few days, I came out to my car after a long day at work to find my car battery dead. And for some reason now, the "D" doesn't illuminate on my dashboard when I'm in Drive. Which ridiculously shocked me the first time I noticed it--my thought process was like Am I dead? Who's driving this thing? Is it driving itself? Is it a ghost car? Wait, is it possible I'm not in any gear and driving? (my foot taps the brakes and gas) no, I've got to be in gear--hmm, is it possible the light's out? Yes, I know...genius at work. And on top of everything else, I have not done one Commit2Fit Healthy Habit or stayed in my WW point range since I got back. I've eaten fried food every day, drank coffee and/or beer every day, and have drunk about 2 tablespoons of water since I've gotten back.

I decided to take the wheel on at least one thing, which will hopefully affect more of my life. Yesterday when I visited the hospital, I promised my unconscious friend that I would run a mile every day until she got out of the hospital. I know she's struggling to get better and I wanted her to know she's not alone. I chose something difficult for me but that was also something good/healthy for me. I don't know, maybe I'm floundering, desperate, feeling so helpless, grasping at straws...it was an impulsive promise I made at her side. I know it doesn't come close to the healing process she's undertaking, but God help me, I need to do something that I feel I'm doing with her. We'll see--maybe a better suggestion will illuminate.