Observations from one week into the World Cup

- I now know what a reverse Christmas tree formation looks like.

- Like fouls in basketball, these football players really try to sell fouls. Given the pure emotion I've witnessed when a goal is scored, the jaded part of me takes a long drag of a cigarette and exhales, he's faking it to the refs when a guy faceplants himself. It's only topped by the player (who practically horsecollars another player) with the honed acting skills of a six-year-old displaying a hammy shrug of the shoulders mouthing what did I do?

- I thought I was starting to get used to that insane hornblowing/buzzing noise during games, but more often I think, no, that cr@p has got to stop NOW. It's the aural equivalent of being hexed to birth a unicorn from my body. I saw on the news that at a recent Florida Marlins game 100,000 of those same type of horns were given out. The segment showed players with earplugs and mothers clamping their hands over the ears of screaming babies. And the game lasted 11 innings. Mental note: avoid Florida Marlins games. They're cursed.

- Settling down around 7pm to watch that morning's DVRed 4:30am Argentina-South Korea game after learning the score and highlights, isn't nearly as exciting as experiencing it live. Kind of like watching the Twilight movies sober. Sigh. It's the Sophie's Choice of the World Cup in California: sleep or real-time experience.

Which brings me to this: whether to get up early and watch the DPRK (North Korea) vs. Portugal game at 4:30am on Monday. Before work. As I mentioned before, I can't help but pity-root for this team. In some ways, it'd make a nice Cinderella story if this North Korean team made it to the Finals.

But it's sad that part of the sweet story is the relief that their families won't be sent to the labor camps. Also it doesn't help that the DPRK's coach constantly credits their "eternal President" with the team's positive skills. It's kind of like that Twilight Zone story where this kid with cruel magical powers can read everyone's minds. They all have to think happy thoughts or else he punishes them by taking away their mouths or something freaky like that. So the kid is surrounded by all these adults with panicked, forced faces of joy, constantly effusive with praise for the kid's wonderful ideas like eating cake and ice cream for every meal.

But even with smug celebratory words praising the Supreme Leader's wisdom and power to gift his players with skill, underneath it'd be pretty darn magical to see the lowest-ranked team in this World Cup make it to the Finals.