Salt Water Cleanse

A friend at work has been encouraging me to try a salt water cleanse for a while. It's basically drinking a quart of salt water and it's supposed to clean out your system and all the junk in it as it passes (and EXITS) through your digestive system. She gave me the right amount of sea salt and instructions and I decided to give it a go last night after ice cream.

First of all, drinking this salt water was disgustingly hard. You know that scene in "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" when Harry (under Dumbledore's instruction) is forcing Dumbledore to drink that crappy liquid when they're in that scary cave and Dumbledore is begging him to stop? That's what it was like. I had to pour out this quart of water into a drinking glass, forcing myself to finish it, then pour another glass. Multiple times. It felt like endless punishment.

When I finished I waited. My friend and others who tried it said it took about an hour before I'd feel the need to go to the bathroom and let the salt water work its cleansing magic.

Unfortunately, it appears I have a high enough tolerance to salt water where, except for a few tummy gurgles, I never hit that peak and that explosive purge of all the junk in my system never came. I went to sleep pretty disappointed.

Worse, waking up I realized that my tolerance to salt water wasn't high enough to extinguish my crazy thirst when I woke up as I literally was drinking out of my bathroom faucet when I woke up. And even worse, it did not diminish my ability to retain water and bloat up. I woke up this morning looking like I spent the night crying while eating bacon and potato chips. Now I'm off to find the loosest pants and hope I can squeeze my puffy feet into my shoes.

Salt Water Cleanse (for me): EPIC fail.