Friday, November 19, 2010

Fraternity Food Drive

Recently, an empty Walgreen's bag was hooked on to the front door with this note, advising a local fraternity's food drive:

First, I have to confess that I have a rather unflattering impression of fraternities. Second, my expectation of frat behavior has been mostly culled from movies like "Animal House", "Revenge of the Nerds", "Old School", etc. I did go to a frat party once--but frankly, it was kind of like they modeled themselves after the movies. Third, I'd like to be open to changing this stereotype in my head. In general, I just imagine frat brothers lounging in their frat house constantly draining a keg, centerfolds scotch-taped to the walls, using what I imagine is the grossest bathroom second to a gas station restroom that doesn't require a key.

But, like this food drive, maybe there is a positive side to fraternities that I don't know about? I picture there had to be one brother who tired of their image and wanted to change things up:

- Hey let's go make the pledges pick up olives...using their butt cheeks!
- Uh, yeah. I guess that would be funny. Again.
- This time, we'll have them carry the the olives up the stairs and drop them in a bucket!
- Hey do you ever think we could do something more productive with our time?
- Then...whoever is the slowest has to eat the bucket of olives!
- I mean, we are, literally, tons of manpower. Maybe we could even do something for charity.
- I'm getting the olives from the fridge!. This is going to be friggin' awesome!

So to that guy with the bright idea who hung in there and finally swayed his brothers, I'll have this on my doorstep for you:

On a side note, I'm also trying to work on healthier eating habits. Hopefully these Oreos will go to someone who has a bit more self-control than me and doesn't eat the whole package in two days.


Michael Kwun said...

I see, in that letter, that the fraternity is Kappa Psi. That's a professional fraternity, not a social fraternity.

(No, I didn't know that off of the top of my head; I looked it up on Wikipedia.)

Pound said...

i see they didn't even pick it up. losers.